Many who have experienced the loss of someone close to them warned me, the firsts are the hardest. And they were, but the grief does not go away because time passes.
I am constantly fighting to make life as “normal” as possible. My kids need that. To tell you the truth, I probably need it. But it doesn’t come naturally. Since my brother died three years ago, things have changed.
We have had two Christmases, three of his birthdays (and ours), and now three National Siblings Days, without him. It seems surreal and frankly silly. After all, National Siblings Day is a made up holiday. But as I watch others celebrate their siblings and the relationships they have, I feel this twinge of pain.
I reach for the phone to call him, and then just pause. It is days like this the pain floods in. We never forget him. The memories are always there, but days like today make it more raw, more painful, somehow.
He was the only person who knew what it was like growing up in the same house, with the same parents and the same experiences. As the years go by I am better able to smile at these memories while feeling the loss.
I would never take this day away from others. My own daughters have enjoyed taking pictures together on this day. But it is one of those days the hole in my own my life, in my heart, was more pronounced.
What I have come to realize is the best “treatment” I have found for grief is remembering you don’t get over it, you get through it, and the best way to get through it is with memories.
So let’s talk. Tell me the memories of a loved one you have lost. Tell me about a moment they made you smile, a moment they made you angry, or a moment they made you laugh. While it will not take the grief away, it will be a little salve on that pain that we can share.
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON MARCH 31, 2019
Denise's Fanciful Function 